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mah facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/Hellboysunny

Monday, March 29, 2010

I Love Walking In The Rain Because Nobody Can See Me Crying!

I wish it rains now!
I like rains, I like the feeling of getting wet. I cry -- at times -- in the godly shower because no body can see me crying.

                Tears idle tears I know not what they mean
gather in the heart and rise to the eyes

I don't have a reason to cry. Still I do. My pals don't know this side of me. Most of the time, I make them laugh. In cafe's and clubs. At home and away. We joke and have fun. Like a jester -- a clown -- in some ancient king's court. Sam's brand of sharp, witty humour, they yell.

In private -- at times -- on dark evenings and rainy days, I sob. I cry for my mom. Her love. She should not have left me like this in a big, bad world. Unloved and unprotected. God, not fair!

I love strange and beauteous things. Like...people who don't love me. Birds. Trees. Rain. Sun-set. Snow. Books. Fish. Flowers. Dew. Friends. Twilight. Honesty. Life.

I dreamt a beautiful dream last night. I was on a carriage. It was going to a snow-land. It was fitted with lights and bells.. God knows. Santa waved to me on the way. I trundled on.

I Promise I'll Never Leave You

Being pushed from this cloud of love
When I close my eyes,hit the ground
Though I keep falling faster than time
Still crash to memories without sound

Would have given up my life for you
You vowed that you would never leave
Yet here I am so cold and alone
Your words of love I always believed

No faith in God no trust in Love
Still breathing as life has just begun
Unleash sadness from my black heart
Or am I past the point of no return

Please come back to me my love
Can't live on memories of yesterdays
Needing your love back in my heart
Praying you'll come back to stay

Tired of drowning in my own tears
Pictures of your face fading away
Hope to come out of this midnight train
With your hands in mine someday


Waiting for you with open arms
How could I ever leave you
Always needed you here with me
To our love I'll always be tru

Trying To Forget You

Up until now
I had so much to say
but it's everything I've said
that's gotten in my way

I won't talk about you
anymore to anyone
the time for that has passed
it's just over with and done

supposed-to-be forgotten words
are still dancing in my head
and I'm just trying to "not remember"
a single thing you've said

I wanna forget all about you
who you are and what your name is
cause it's causing so much pain
and I honestly can't take this

feel like killing myself


I am killing myself slowly enough
I guess I never was that tough
My energy is draining
As my mind is insaning,

It hurts so much
Let me lose touch
My heart doesn't need this
I just want to feel one small kiss

Of love, of feeling, of rightness,
And I wouldn't need to beg for numbness
Because my soul is so trapped

Inside a body that isn't mine
What am I to do?
 Give up and die too?
Or try my hardest to stay here
But what if I'm really over there . .

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

last day of my life

In a moment she was gone, long gone:
It could have been me or you.
Oh, baby, there's no time to lose.

So I'm gonna bring home a dozen roses,
An' pour us a glass of wine.
An' I'm gonna put on a little music,
An' turn down the lights.
An' I'm gonna wrap my arms around you,
An' rock you all through the night,
An' I'm gonna love you,
Like it's the last day of my life.

I drive off when the sun comes up:
I get back when it's gone down.
There's so much I wanna do with you,
But I can't be around.
Whoa, time has been just like a theif,
It's stolen too much from us,
So once it's gone we can't make it up.
So tonight, let's get back in touch.

I'm gonna bring home a dozen roses,
An' pour us a glass of wine.
An' I'm gonna put on a little music,
An' turn down the lights.
An' I'm gonna wrap my arms around you,
An' rock you all through the night,
An' I'm gonna love you,
Like it's the last day of my...

Life is a rainbow, it's a spring snow,
It's the mornin' dew.
An' I don't wanna waste another minute,
Without you.

I'm gonna bring home a dozen roses,
An' pour us a glass of wine.
An' I'm gonna put on a little music,
An' turn down the lights.
An' I'm gonna wrap my arms around you,
An' rock you all through the night,
An' I'm gonna love you,
Like it's the last day of my,
Life
I'm gonna love you
Like it's the last day of my life.
Ohh.
i love u dear.......i m drunken nd no one says lie when he is .........

Sunday, January 17, 2010

As the darkness
sucks all the lightness
from the happiness of a day,
My kneecaps ache as they
lay akwardly upon the
cold, hard, wooden floor.
And as I pray to the heavens above
I beg God for forgiveness.
Forgiveness
for the wishing of death,
I wished upon myself,
fearing that that wish will
become the fate of my love ones.
Tears
fall down my saddened cheeks
Pain
blankets my heart
and the Power
of Breath is Underestimated
by me.
Panicing, suffocation controls me
but I still manage to allow the word
BEAUTIFUL
to be spoken.

Friday, January 15, 2010

HERE I M WRITING ABOUT A GIRL WHOM I SAW IN MY DREAM.......

At night I cannot sleep and during the day I dream of HER...
It must have been a rainy day when SHE was born..Heaven was crying 'cus it lost its most beautiful angel!
Even when it is rainy the sun is shining in her smile.
If i would have her pics i would have given it to Santa Claus so that he
knows exactly what to give me .
I loved all the stars in the sky, but they were nothing compared to the ones in her eyes!



I look through the window and see in the skies
The beautiful blueness of your beautiful eyes

I look at the bark of a tree and the brown I see there
Is the beautiful browness of your beautiful hair

I look at the ocean as the wave rips
And I see beautiful roundness to your beautiful hips

I listen to the radio and with every station choice
I hear the beautiful sharpness of your beautiful voice

I listen to the breeze and the storm in the sky
I hear the cowardice shake in my cowardice sigh

Because though you look beautiful and sound beautiful too
I could never be brave enough to ask that question to you


You changed my world with a blink of an eye
That is something that I can not deny
You put my soul from worst to best
That is why I treasure you my dearest Marites

You just don't know what you have done for me
You even pushed me to the best that I can be
You really are an angel sent from above
To take care of me and shower with love

When I'm with you I will not cry even a single a tear
And your touch have chased away all of my fear
You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile
It is even better everytime you smile

It so magical those things you've made
To bring back my faith that almost fade
Now my life is a dream come true
It all began when I was loved by you

Now I have found what I am looking for
It's you and your love and nothing more
Co'z you have given me this feeling of contentment
In my life something I've never felt

I wish I could talk 'til the end of day
But now I'm running out of things to say
So I'll end by the line you already know
"I LOVE YOU" more than what I could show

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's becoming more evident

Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me

Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared

With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I?m left to await another clue

On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me

I?m wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Your the one that holds the key.

Harsh words & violent blows

Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes
are open, hands are fisted
Deep
inside I'm warped & twisted
So
many tricks & so many lies
Too
many whens & too many whys
Nobody's
special, nobody's gifted
I'm
just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping
awake & choking on a dream
Listening
loudly to a silent scream
Call
my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost
in someone so warped & twisted
On
my knees, alive but dead
Look
at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm
not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't
expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt
out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's
just yesterday's tomorrow
The
sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm
still here, warped & twisted


written by: mah frnd(ena)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

ME ,MYSELF N MISERIES

I am sad, alone & low coz i want to be,
I desperately need someone to share my thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I have become too much frustrated coz of monotony in my life.
On one side there is insurmountable academic load,
and on the other side there is loneliness of my life
My personal life is totally dark,with no points of light comin from anywhere...

I pity on myself,the reason for my self pity is lack of confidence ,
which result in takin very few initiatives..
Rather than missin any opportunity, i run from any upcoming opportunity..
I have always provided myself reasons to keep me satisfied..

I NEED TO REVIVE, TO BE JOYOUS AND TO SUCCEED..

Oh!! Almighty. I don't believe in you but still out of my terrible situation.

I AM PRAYING TO U............

" PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LIGHT HERE"

LONELY .........

I LOOKED UP AT THE VELVETY BLACKNESS OF SKY
AND I SEE STARS ADORING NIGHTS SO BRIGHT
EVEN DIAMONDS MAY FEEL SHY..................

AND THEN I SAW ONE THAT BREAKS FREE
AND SHOOTS TO,,,,,,,
I DON'T KNOW WHERE,,,

Oh!! little star........
will u take my wish to her who is so far,
Tell her that i am just a little lonely here....................................

Sunday, November 8, 2009




•▬●๋•í ám whát í ám●๋•▬•
To some people it sounds rediculous but it is a bitter truth.
I m not like others.Ok little more about me.
I am ambitious and I follow my heart, I believe in myself and God. I love my family and close ones. I love adventure, sports, writing , movies And I have my own different world. There are many things I wish to do in life. I dream a lot and I am an emotional fool and I always try my best to be honest ;) My life is not perfect nor I am but I love myself and my life it the way it is.
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